What does being a parent mean to you?

I know the original video says that this video is for special needs children…while I don’t want to undermine the term “special needs children,” we should all remember that every child has special needs. No two children are the same, no two humans are the same. Growing up is a painful and scary adventure, try to be kind to your child. 

Watch the video. All these advices apply to everyday life as a parent. When you can get to your children’s level and see how important something not important is, you are being a parent. When you imagining a pirate ship sailing across your living room and knocking over anything that’s everything, you’re being a parent. When you’re hugging them after a tantrum because who doesn’t have bad days, you’re being a parent. When you’re frickin tired and you just wanna crash, but their glistening eyes invite you to another game of bumper cars, that’s parenting. When you’re humming that annoying nursery rhyme without the kids around, you’re being a parent. 

I am an advocate for non-traditional, logical, gentle, positive and mindful parenting. 

How did I get here?

There are only so many things important in my life. My husband. My children. But once a while, I sit and wonder what she is doing. What she is thinking … Could she be thinking of me too? Probably not.

There are many moments I wish I had a mother with whom I shared a deep and true connection. I once saw a quote about how a daughter is the best friend you never thought you’d have.

But the relationship between my mother and me, similar to her mother and her, has come to a point where it is irreversible.

My mother grew up in a family where she was the youngest. She was much adored by her father, but her mother, biological, never took a liking to her. No one is sure of the reasons, or at least within my parents’ household, but one thing is for sure, because my mother lacked her mother’s love, she more than over compensated when she had children and it led to an overbearing, over protective and overwhelming parenting style.

Many a times we would argue, my mother and I, and I would not understand where she was coming from. Recently I found a book that is written with my mother in mind. This book, the manual to my mother and her episodes, calls her a toxic parent. A narcissistic parent.

And it couldn’t be more right.

The hardest thing I have done to date is becoming a mother. I am Mama to two beautiful boys. They are so young, so innocent. Which is why I needed to cut my mother off. Distance ourselves from her toxicity. Perhaps this post is my justifying my actions, perhaps not.

She’ll never read this and she’d never understand. But if she did read this, I hope she too finds the peace she needs to move on from her dead mother’s grip.

I am here because in order to give my boys the best, I can’t just learn a new parenting style. I need to be the new parenting style. And in order to do so, I need to peel off all the damage and toxicity that I have adopted over the years, and start anew.

Welcome to my collection of resources and my thoughts. Stay as long as you like.